Dealing With Depression Through Music

I don’t mind sharing that I have depression. It’s not present all the time. In fact, I would consider myself pretty happy right now. But it will always be in the background for me to deal with in some form. There have been times when I’ve seriously considered suicide as an option. Sadly, people tend to look at you differently when they know you’ve been suicidal. It’s not their fault really because it’s a heavy thing to deal with and it’s hard to find the right words to say, if any.

I hear a lot of familiar tones in the music of Sun Kil Moon and Mark, specifically. Feelings that I’ve dealt with in the past or am currently experiencing come from between the lines of the songs and I can’t help but wonder if Mark himself deals with depression to some extent. Honestly, if I were him, it would definitely be easy for me to become discouraged. He’s constantly touring the world, playing his heart out in hole-in-the-wall bars and small theaters. But does anyone know?

Quite a few of his songs are about real people he has met while out on the road. Most of these are about women he became romantically involved with for one or two nights before he was off to the next town, never to see any of them again. There seems to be such an emptiness there and a longing for something more.

Most of the music produced by Sun Kil Moon and Mr. Kozelek is of a darker or melancholy tone. Some would think that when feeling down, it would be counter productive to listen to music about the same feeling. However, when I listen to the sadness contained in these lyrics and melodies, I’m comforted by the fact that someone I look up to went through a similar time of sadness or confusion and is still going strong.

Recommendation:

Today I will recommend two of the songs that I mentioned in which Mark recalls encounters with women while on the road. While the situations depicted are sad, they are also pretty touching. Listen to “The Moderately Talented Yet Attractive Young Woman vs. The Exceptionally Talented Yet Not So Attractive Middle Aged Man” and “I Know It’s Pathetic But That Was the Greatest Night of My Life.” Both of these tracks can be found on the album “Among the Leaves.” Enjoy!

Mark Kozelek Can Be Kind Of A Douche

 

As you can probably tell from the title, today I’ll be addressing Mark Kozelek specifically. The troubled and odd creative mind behind the music of Sun Kil Moon has a tendency to be quite abrasive in interviews and on stage. It would seem his filter is usually out to lunch whenever he finds himself in the spotlight.

There is a myriad of examples of Mark flubbing a quote and starting an internet debate. One of the more recent instances involved Mark and Adam Granofsky of the band The War on Drugs. Apparently Mark was annoyed when The War on Drugs was performing at the same time he was at a music festival. Koz thought their performance bled into his and stated that their music was “beer commercial lead-guitar shit.” The grand finale of this debacle was Kozelek releasing a song entitled, “War on Drugs: Suck My C***.” Adam Granofsky called Mark a douche in an interview with Songs For Whoever and, honestly, it seems pretty deserved.

Last year, Mr. Kozelek racked up yet another quotable altercation. A woman named Laura Snapes requested an interview with the Kozelek, who only conducts interviews via email. One of these emails to Ms. Graves read, “You think you’re the only person who wants to get a face-to-face interview with me? Get in line. I’m the best person you never met and one day, if you ever meet me, you’ll probably want to have my baby.” Mark then berated Ms. Snapes at his next show and then started repeating the line, “Laura Snapes totally wants to f*** me / get in line, b**** … Laura Snapes totally wants to have my babies.” The whole story can be found at The Guardian.

To anyone who doesn’t know anything about the 49-year-old musician, he would seem to be a mean-spirited, elitist jerk, and maybe there’s a part of him that is. But from his music, you could gather that he his perhaps quite troubled. He’s also very tired, not physically, but mentally. He’s been making records in some capacity since 1989 and he travels literally all over the world almost annually, yet I’ve never met anyone who knows who he is. I often ponder the idea of devoting most of your life to writing and performing music and still only making a living and having a narrow following.

His fans are diehard fans and I think he uses this as a safety net to say whatever he wants to say, like he has nothing to lose. I don’t agree with how he treated Granofsky and Ms. Snapes, but I can’t deny the results he produces, and neither can the people he targets. Granofsky stated that even with the bout of childish remarks from Koz, Benji, a 2014 release under the Sun Kil Moon name, was still one of his favorite albums of the year.

Recommendation:

Last time I recommended an entire album. Today I’m just recommending one song – “Ålesund.” This is one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard and I’m sure anyone who listens will agree. Put in your headphones and get lost in it. It’s a chronicle of Mark’s time in the Norwegian city from which the song gets its title. It appears on the album “Admiral Fell Promises” on which Kozelek showcases his skill on acoustic guitar. The whole album is great, but “Ålesund” is outstanding.

-Alex Frye

Learning How to Speak

I’ve tried my hand at song writing. It… didn’t go so well. The music isn’t usually the problem, though. It’s the words. All I want is to be able to express what’s going on under the surface instead of letting it fester inside of me. But just because I may be feeling something doesn’t mean anyone on Earth wants to hear about it. That’s why writers have long used the method of masking the real meaning with metaphors and sly word play. However, it’s hard for me to find a cryptic way to say, “I feel worthless.” or, “I can’t keep going much longer.”

When I first heard the music of Sun Kil Moon under the direction of Mark Kozelek, I was instantly struck. After a few songs, I realized why. The music was impeccable, but it was the lyrics that knocked me over. He sang about exactly what was happening to him or what had happened in the past – past loves (by name), death, loneliness. He hid nothing. He just laid it all out.

This lack of writing inhibition and the music behind it shot Sun Kil Moon and Mark Kozelek straight to the top of my list of favorite artists. With every new song I heard from them, I fell more in love with a style that I wouldn’t have seen myself enjoying quite this much. It’s extremely mellow and most of the albums are slow burns, but I can’t get enough.

This music speaks to my soul. I suck at articulating what I’m dealing with mentally and emotionally. I’m the guy who practices what to say in the mirror over and over and then chickens out when it matters. Sometimes I feel like I’m totally cut off from the outside world because I can’t tell them I’m deeply hurting. The music of Sun Kil Moon gives me a voice. In some of my darkest times, I’ve confided in the melodies and verses of their music and have been able to escape, even if for a short time.

Recommendation:

If you enjoy Sun Kil Moon, you’ve no doubt heard the incredible album entitled April. But if you haven’t, I highly recommend it to you. It’s one of the best albums I’ve ever heard. Just put it on and escape. If you’re a musician or if you just love music that’s heartfelt and well done, I can guarantee that you’ll find something you like here.

-Alex Frye